A Letter to the IRS

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Dear Sirs:

I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax Return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive.

It’s only fair that since they are minors and not my responsibility that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction.

This year they are yours!

The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people’s questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name.

Taxes should be a breeze; next year she is going to college. I think it’s wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn’t run at the moment so you have the immediate decision of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle, or getting up early to drive her to school.

Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh joy. While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of the virtues of abstinence, and in the face of overwhelming passion, safe sex. This is always uncomfortable and I am quite relieved you will be handling this in the future. May I suggest that you reinstate Joycelyn Elders, who had a rather good handle on the problem.

Patrick is 14. I’ve had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little close together for normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day of you do not incarcerate him first. In February I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home. He and his friends were TP’ing houses. In the future would you like him delivered to the local IRS office or to Ogden, UT? Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple. Permanent dye, temporary dye, what’s the big deal?

Learn to deal with it.

You’ll have plenty of time as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a food fight. I’ll take care of filing your phone number with the vice principal. Oh yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones. This is the house of testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. DO NOT leave any of them unsupervised with girls, explosives, inflammables, inflatables, vehicles, or telephones. (I’m sure that you will find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement, and be sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers!)

Heather is an alien. She slid through a time warp and appeared quite by magic one year. I’m sure this one is yours. She is 10 going on 21. She came from a bad trip in the sixties. She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim’s. Fortunately, you will be raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. Hooked on Phonics is expensive so the schools dropped it. Good news! You can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction that you are denying! It’s quite obvious that we were terrible parents (ask the other two) so they have helped raise this one to a new level of terror. She cannot speak English. Most people under twenty understand the curious patois she fashioned out of valley girls/boys in the hood/reggae/yuppie/political doublespeak. I don’t. The school sends her to a speech pathologist who has her roll her R’s. It added a refreshing Mexican/Irish touch to her voice. She wears hats backwards, pants baggy, and wants one of her ears pierced four more times. There is a fascination with tattoos that worries me, but I am sure that you can handle it.

Bring a truck when you come to get her, as she sort of nests in her room and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out what it is really made of.

You denied two of the three exemptions so it is only fair that you get to pick which two you will take. I prefer that you take the youngest, I still go bankrupt with Kristen’s college,but then I am free! If you take the two oldest then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes a teenager. If you take the two girls then I won’t feel so bad about putting Patrick in a military academy. Please let me know of your decision as soon as possible as I have already increased the withholding on my W-4 to cover the $395 in additional tax and to make a down payment on an airplane.

Yours Truly,

Bob

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them.

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Income Tax, Only The Rich Pay!

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Income tax, only the rich pay!

It looks like people would catch on after a while. Every election year for at least the last forty years we have heard the same old rhetoric from the left. We’re going to raise the taxes on only the rich, give every one else huge sums of money and benefits, vote for me and you will be living in the land of milk and honey.

Get Real!!How many times do people have to hear this before it FINALLY soaks in, there are no free lunches! When Income taxes were first implemented around the turn of the 20th century, the same technique was used. The idea was sold to the public,that only the very few rich would pay. How long did that last? Now almost a hundred years later,the same old , same old is still being sold to the American public. Wise UP!!

Some politicians, in the never ending quest for votes, try to create victims and make people dependent on government. Instead of trying to get the populous to improve themselves and achieve more, they want to make the citizens feel dependent on government thereby creating a need for all of the giveaways supplied by politicians, thereby creating a dependency, thus we as the common folk,can’t live without them.There is no problem , that with the governments involvement ,can’t be made worse.

When President Bush gave everyone a tax break, I heard and am still hearing that only the rich received a tax break, I am far from being wealthy, I received a tax break! Amazing!!! Sure the poor got no reduction in taxes, they don’t pay taxes. How can a person receive a tax break when no taxes are paid. A refund on zero is zero, plain and simple. If they were to receive a refund, it would be welfare, not a tax break.

I realize there are times when an individual can experience hard times and need assistance. There is nothing wrong with that, it can happen to anyone. During these times individuals, civic groups, religious organizations and the government should assist in any way possible .But this help isn’t meant to be a pension and go on for generations.Once assistance is no longer needed, it should be with drawn. You will find that many times the debt is repaid by this person by helping someone else in distress.

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It seems to me the people that swallow this philosophy are jealous of every one whom they perceive to have more than they do. Rather than going out and working to achieve more,thereby elevating themselves financially and personally, they would just take from someone who already has it, it is easier that way.However if everyone would feel that way, soon no one would be working to advance themselves, why should they. It is much easier to let someone else work and pay the bills.

 That is not the ideals that America was founded on.

I was always taught that if I wasn’t happy with the life situation I find myself,  it was necessary and my responsibility to work and change my environment myself, that is what I have always done, sometimes it takes a lot of hard work and time, but it can be done. Embarking on this journey, success isn’t always attained instantaneously, however , the lessons learned will eventually lead us to accomplishing our goals .This is a lot more rewarding than sitting around waiting for a government handout and thus becoming dependent on some bureaucrat who only has his best interests at heart.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.journeysthrulife.com

Your comments appreciated

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There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world, When looking back in history, I soon discovered this has always been a problem, Benjamin Franklin once said, ”Of all the senses, common sense seems to be the one that is used the least.” As obvious as it may seem, many seem to be totally oblivious to it. Most, if not all of the problems the world faces today could be solved if people would just sit back and think about what would seem to be the most obvious and simple solution to any issue.

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