Why Law School costs so Much

One day in contract law class, Professor Jetson asked one of his better students, “Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”

The student replied, “I’d say ‘Hey: want an orange?'”

The professor was livid. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” he instructed.”Oh,” the student said.

“In that case, I’d tell him, ‘I hereby give and convey to you, all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat the same, or give the same away with or without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding.”

“You’re making good progress,” the professor said.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

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Court Transcripts

More Real Court Transcripts

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

—–

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

—–

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

—–

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

—–

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

—–

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

—–

JUDGE: “The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant, sir?”

DEFENDANT: “No, sir, I’m the guy who stole the chickens.”

—–

Last, Responses to Interrogatories answered by the wife in divorce case:

52. Do you have a proposal to settle this case amicably?

ANSWER: Yes.

53. Assuming your answer to the preceding interrogatory is in the affirmative, please state such a proposal.

ANSWER: Use a silver bullet or a wooden stake as is appropriate in these cases.

You will hear with these.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

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Witness for the Prosecution

In a trial in a small North Carolina town, a prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she
would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help
her God.

She says “I do.”

She was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well-spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known
you since you were a young boy and frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and
talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big
shot when you haven’t the sense to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you
quite well.”

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn’t even think for a few moments.
Then, he slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors’
faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not
knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, big-mouthed and has a bad drinking
problem. The man can’t build or keep a normal relationship with anyone,
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know
him.”

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in
his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered
throughout the court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called
both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, “If either
of you crooked bastards asks her if she knows me, you’ll be thrown in
jail for contempt. Is that clear?”

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You Can't take it with you

 

You Can’t Take it With You II

A lawyer is on his deathbed. He calls his three associates in and
says, “They say you can’t take it with you, but I plan to. In each of
these cases is a million dollars in cash. Just after they lower my
casket I want you to each throw it in with me.”

The men are all silent.

“I know I can trust you…” the dying man says.

They all three give their solemn promise.

The next week, leaving the funeral, one says to the other two, “I
have to get this off my chest. I lost a lot in the market last year and I
really needed the money. I took out half of the million dollars.”

The second lawyer says, “Oh, God, me too. After my divorce I’ve been struggling to catch up. I only threw in $250,000.”

The third attorney looks at the other two with a shocked expression.
“I can’t believe you two! I enclosed a check for the entire amount!”

 

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You Can't Take it With You

 

You Can’t Take it With You II

A lawyer is on his deathbed. He calls his three associates in and
says, “They say you can’t take it with you, but I plan to. In each of
these cases is a million dollars in cash. Just after they lower my
casket I want you to each throw it in with me.”

The men are all silent.

“I know I can trust you…” the dying man says.

They all three give their solemn promise.

The next week, leaving the funeral, one says to the other two, “I
have to get this off my chest. I lost a lot in the market last year and I
really needed the money. I took out half of the million dollars.”

The second lawyer says, “Oh, God, me too. After my divorce I’ve been struggling to catch up. I only threw in $250,000.”

The third attorney looks at the other two with a shocked expression.
“I can’t believe you two! I enclosed a check for the entire amount!”

Jokes on a regular and timely manner,follow me on Kindle.

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

 

Murphy's Technology Laws

Murphy’s Technology
Laws

All great discoveries are made by
mistake.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe
and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on
it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within
budget.

All’s well that ends.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept
and the hours are lost.

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds
as 20 men working 20 years make.

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his
boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Some people manage by the book, even though they
don’t know who wrote the book or even what
book.

After all is said and done, a heck of a lot more
is said than done.

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The Dead Skunk and the Lawyer

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The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead
lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

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Funny sayings

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Clever Lawyer

In a court room in rural Oklahoma where a person is on trial for
murder, there is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no
corpse, which would really seal his fate.

In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his
client is guilty and that it looks like he’ll probably be convicted,
resorts to a clever trick.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,”
the shyster says as he looks at his watch. “Within 1 minute, the person
presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom, proving my
client’s innocence!” He turns and looks toward the courtroom door. The
jury, somewhat stunned, follow his eyes and look too. A minute passes,
but nothing happens.

Finally the lawyer says: “Actually, I made up the previous statement.
But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you
that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was
killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, still looking suspicious, retires to deliberate.

But only a few minutes later, the jury returns and the foreman utters their verdict: guilty!

“But how?” inquires the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”

“Yes, we looked,” admitted the foreman. “But we noticed your client didn’t.”

You can now follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

The Lawyer and the Funeral

A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway
show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance.

 When the
exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of
the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a
valuable commodity was unused.

 The lawyer replied that his wife
couldn’t make it. The woman asked him if he didn’t have relatives or
friends who could have used the seat. He replied, “Oh, they’re all at
the funeral.”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

The informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

The Trucker and the Lawyer

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked
down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the
road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud “thud”, and then
he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking,
he pulled over and asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

“I’ll give you a lift.”

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver
continued down the road . Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking
down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute,
he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the
road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud
“thud.” Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors.
When he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m
sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer.”

The priest replied, “That’s OK, I got him with the door.”

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors