More Country Song Titles
Like the earlier batch of Country Song Titles, I have no idea if these are real songs or not — but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.
and…
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Country Songs
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indian
West Texas Lawman
West Texas Lawman
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big –6’2″ — and strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally became of age he applied to the only place he had dreamed of working : the West Texas Sheriff’s Department.
After a big mess of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s final interview.
“You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot,” the Chief Deputy says. “So far your qualifications all look good . But we have what you call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted.”
“Yes, sir,” the boy replied.
“We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”
“No, sir!” he answer.
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief says:
“Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
and a rabbit.”
“A rabbit?” the kid replies. “Why the rabbit?”
“Great attitude, son,” says the Chief Deputy, putting the pistol back in his drawer. “When can you start?”
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?
The Cowboy Code
The Cowboy Code of Ethics
1. A cowboy removes his hat when entering the presence of a lady,although he may leave it on if she works in a saloon.
2. A cowboy says EXCUSE ME, MA’AM, when leaving a lady’s presence.
3. A cowboy says PARDON ME, MA’AM, when bumping into a lady, or treading on her feet.
4. A cowboy never sits, while a lady is standing, unless he feels particularly tired, or his feet hurt.
5. A cowboy allows a lady to go through a doorway, first, especially if he thinks one of his enemies may try to shoot him in a cowardly ambush.She would provide good cover.
6 . A cowboy does not spit on the floor, but if he does, he will point it out to the ladies so they will not drag their skirts through it.
7. A cowboy never tracks horse poop into a lady’s house. He should leave his boots outside the door, unless his feet stink
as bad as the horse poop, in which case, he should just go someplace else. Maybe the saloon, where the stench of horse poop is no worse than the stench of cow poop.
8. A cowboy does not pick his nose at the table, unless it will help him breath better or eliminate a whistle that otherwise might become annoying to the ladies.
9. A cowboy does not scratch his groin, his armpits, or suck on the ends of his mustache, when a lady is near.
10. A cowboy does not swear or make reference to bodily functions, inthe presence of a lady.
11. A cowboy must not sneeze at the table. If a strong need arises that cannot be resisted, he will turn his head away from the lady, so she won’t be sprayed and perhaps be struck by a stray booger.
12. A cowboy does not noisily slurp his coffee in the presence of a lady. Instead, he should hold the saucer steady with both
hands, tip it toward his mouth, and slurp silently.
13. A cowboy does not fart in the presence of a lady… not even silently. If he does, it might stink, and she may smell it and possiblythink that he is not actually a gentleman.
14. A cowboy will grasp a lady’s elbow to help her onto a horse or into a carriage. He should never, ever push on her derriere
to give her a boost, because she might kick his teeth out, unless she works in the saloon.
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Cowboy buys Insurance
The Cowboy buys insurance
The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy. The insurance agentwas going down the list of standard questions.
“Ever have an accident?”
“Nope, nary a one.”
“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”
“Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.”
“That’s hard to believe. No accidents at all?”
“Well, rattler bit me one time.”
“Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”
“Hell no. Damned varmint bit me on purpose.”
Get your daily laugh on Kindle.
Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota, Florida. He maintains a website featuring some of his travel photos and markets a line of products featuring many of his photos.
Indian Land
Indian Land
When white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were: -No Taxes
– No Debt
– Plenty buffalo
– Plenty beaver
– Medicine man free
– Women did all the work
– Men hunted and fished all the time
The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that system!
Now , get your jokes on your Kindle.
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
Throughout man’s long history on earth,there has been one group of people who have carried the torch of liberty and freedom throughout the ages , from time immemorial until the present day. In these days their counsel is need more than ever.
A Ventriloquist Cowboy
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting near
his pad.
Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?
Indian: Dog no talk.
Cowboy: Hey dog, how’s it going?
Dog: Doin’ all right.
Indian: [Extreme look of shock]
Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]
Dog: Yep
Cowboy: How’s he treating you?
Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day , feeds me great food, and takes
me to the lake once a week to play.
Indian: [look of disbelief]
Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?
Indian: Horse no talk.
Cowboy: Hey horse, how’s it going?
Horse: Cool.
Indian: [extreme look of shock]
Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]
Horse: Yep
Cowboy: How’s he treating you?
Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes
me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.
Indian: [total look of amazement ]
Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep?
Indian: Sheep lie!
Indian Listerning to the Ground
Indian Listening to the Ground
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the
ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that
Indian?”
“Yeah,” says the other cowboy.
“Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear
things for miles in any direction.”
Just then the Indian looks up. “Covered wagon,” he says, “about two
miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child,
household effects in wagon.”
“Incredible!” says the cowboy to his friend. “This Indian knows how far
away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the
wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!”
The Indian looks up and says, “Ran over me about a half hour ago.”
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
Your comments appreciated
I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.
A Tough Old Cowboy
A Tough Old Cowboy
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live
a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his
oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great
grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota, Florida. He maintains a website featuring some of his travel photos and markets a line of products featuring many of his photos.
The Cowboy and the Rattlesnake
Cowboys
It was spring in the old west . The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warmingitself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
“Hold on there, partner,” said the snake, “don’t shoot – I’m an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don’t shoot me, I’ll give you any three wishes you want.”
The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake’s striking range. He said, “OK, first, I’d like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I’d like a body like Arnold Schwarzenagger, and finally, I’d like sexual equipment like this horse I’m, riding.”
The rattlesnake said, “All right, when you get back to the bunk house you’ll have all three wishes.”
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenagger’s.
Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted, “My God, I forgot I was riding the Mare!”.
Get a Laugh three times a week, follow me on Kindle.
A Cowboy rode into Town
A cowboy rode into town
and stopped at the saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When
he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the
air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the
ceiling. “Who stole my horse?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
“I’m gonna have another beer and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time
I’m finished, I’m gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don’t want to have
to do what I dun back in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up
and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, what happened
in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home!”
Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com
You can also follow him on your Kindle.
Your comments appreciated
America is in serious trouble, many no longer realize what values and principles our country is founded on and have strayed from the common sense and creative thinking of our ancestors, how can we fix it?
Thinking Between the Lines 