Drinking Beer: The Buffalo Theory

The “Buffalo Theory” of Drinking Beer..

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know , kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that’s why beer is so GOOD for you!

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The Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

What’s with that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.

It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock”, the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.

“Yup”, replied the drunk.

How’s it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.

“Watch”, the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “You jerk! It’s three-fifteen in the morning!

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