A Lawyer Makes it to Heaven

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A lawyer, a doctor, and a janitor die in a freak elevator accident and find themselves arriving at the Pearly Gates at the same time.

St. Peter explains, “We have limited space, so we’ve been deciding admission based on a trivia contest.”

St. Peter then turns to the janitor and asks “What was the name of the famous ship that hit an iceberg and sank, killing all those people?”

The janitor replies “The Titanic!”

“Very good,” says St. Peter, “you may enter.”

St. Peter then turns to the doctor and asks, “How many people died on that ship?”

The doctor replies “about fifteen hundred, give or take.”

“Close enough,” says St. Peter, “you may enter.”

St. Peter then turns to the lawyer and says, “Name ’em.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

Each generation from the beginning of our country has contributed to what our country has become. By the same token, no one is perfect. Consequently, each generation has done and will continue to perform acts that it would have been better if some other course of action was taken.
The baby boomers have contributed much and have been blamed for the decline of America. What is the true story?

Gifts from the Caribbean Postcard by lifejourneysimages
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Good News and Bad News

Artistic Good News, And Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.

“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the owner replied.

“Give me the good news first,” the artist demanded.

“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed, “What could possibly be the bad news?”

“Well,” the gallery owner replied, “I have a buddy who’s a private investigator, and I had him look into the guy.”

“And…?” the artist says.

“He’s your doctor.”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

Are you looking for an easy and fast way to make some extra money? Look to one of America’s premier online selling sites to provide just that. Selling golf balls for fun and profit is something anyone can do. If you don’t find a source like the author did, anyone can walk a golf course in the evening after the golfers have gone home and find plenty of golf balls to sell.

Retirement Poster by lifejourneysimages
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You Know You live in a Small Town When

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt
road.

You used to drag “main”.

You said a cuss word and your parents knew within the hour.

You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.

School gets canceled for state events.

It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.

The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snooty,” but is actually
just like your town.

Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.

You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the “rich people.”

The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two
years later.

Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed
store.

You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference.

You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis.

You know what 4-H is.

You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask
if you need a ride.

You can charge at all the local stores.

The closest McDonald’s is 45 miles away. So is the closest mall.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

A modern day vision quest

 

 

 

You Know You're Getting Old When You can Remember

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
*
When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
*
When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
*
When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
*
When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
*
When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
*
When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
*
When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
*
When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
*
When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
*
When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
*
When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.
*
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
*
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the
box.
*
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
*
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents.
*
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed–and did!
*
When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
*
When women were called, “Mrs. John Smith,” instead of their own name.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

A journey of spiritual discovery

 

 

Some Great Useless One Liners

Some Great But Useless One-Liners

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost
and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.

You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world’s population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.journeysthrulife.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The best of times

A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.

Speaking English

Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what
kills you.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

Doctor, Doctor

Doctor! Doctor!

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why’s that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
*
Doctor, doctor, my hair’s coming out. Can you give me something to
keep it in?
Certainly – how about a paper bag?
*
Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!
*
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What’s come over you?
Two cars and a bus!
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a spoon.
Sit there and don’t stir.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time, please.
*
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you.
I can’t. I’m not allowed on the furniture.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The best of times

Doctors and Guns

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Think about this:

a. The number of physicians in the US is 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. (US Dept. of Health
Human Services)

Then think about this:

a. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000.
b. The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500.
c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188.

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than
gun owners.
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT
LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before
this gets out of hand.

As a public health measure I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear
that the shock could cause people to seek medical attention.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The Best of Times

The Best Patients

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table,
because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything
inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers
…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over
at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all
wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no
heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The best of times

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The Blonde Grandma

Old Granny went to her doctor to see what could be  done about her constipation.

“It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”

“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.

“Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night.”

“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”

“Naturally,” she answered, “I take a book.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

The best of times : A narrative about what life in The United States was in our golden era, and how it became what it is, and offering solutions to enable us to once again travel the path to freedom and self reliance.