The Joys of being a Senior Citizen

Old age and treachery hats by lifejourneysimages
Make unique custom printed hats.

This is good…really good…The best!

 

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel;

           I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys.  They were not in my pockets. 

A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. 

             Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen.  As I burst through the door,
I came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right.  The parking lot was empty.

            I immediately called the police.  I gave them my location, 

confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered;

            > I always call her “honey” in times like these. <
“I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

 

There was a period of silence.

  I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
                        “Idiot”, she barked, “I dropped you off!” 
Now it was my time to be silent.

 Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”   

She retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not
                                                stolen your car.”

 

Yep, it’s the golden years

The Mother Tongue and How it got That Way

.Get a Chuckle on a regular basis, follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Pirate's Misfortunes

 A pirate was talking to a “land-lubber” in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg,a hook in place of one of his hands, and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.He asked the pirate, “How did you lose your leg?”

The pirate responded, “I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica !” His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, “What about you hand. Did you lose it at the same time?”

“No,” answered the pirate. “I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys .” Finally, the land-lubber asked, “I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose your eye?”

The pirate answered, “I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye.” The land-lubber asked: “How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?”

The pirate snapped, “It was the day after I got me hook!”

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

The informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

A 90 Year Old Man

A 90 year old man was sitting on a park bench sobbing. A young man asked him what was wrong.
“I’m in love with a 20 year old girl,”wailed the old man. “She ‘s gorgeous,looking,kind, considerate, and she’s a great cook, and we have the most fantastic sex three times a day, every day..”
“So why are you crying?”
“I’ve forgotten where we live.”

Sports and outdoors

Arizona Ice Tea

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

A perfect description of middle age baby creeper by lifejourneysimages
Browse more Dancing T-Shirts

The Absentminded Professor

An absent-minded professor was moving to a new house further down the block from where he was living. His wife knew that he  was prone to forgetting things so she wrote down the address of the new house on a piece of paper before he went off to college. She handed him the paper and the keys to the new house and reminded him not to go back to the old house.
That morning one of his students asked him a complex question and the professor wrote the answer down on the back of the slip of paper. The student asked him whether he could keep the paper. Forgetting what was on the other side of the note, the professor responded,”Certainly.”
In the evening he returned out of habit to the old house,tried the key and couldn’t get in. Realizing his mistake he searched in his pocket for the slip of paper with the new address, but of course, it wasn’t there. So he wandered along the street and stopped the first personable looking lad whom he saw.
“Excuse me, I’m professor Galbreath. You wouldn’t happen to know where I live, do you?”
“Sure,dad.” said the boy.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

 

 

My Grandfather

My Grandfather was a little forgetful and was always giving me advice. One day he took me aside, and left me there.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Travel the world via your laptop

Unforgettable gifts

The Marriage Proposal

An elderly widow and widower had been dating for several years. He finally asked her to marry him and she immediately said “yes”. But  the next morning he couldn’t remember what her answer had been. In desperation, he decided to call her.

“This is really  embarrassing ,”he began,”but when I asked you to marry me yesterday,,well,this morning, I just couldn’t remember what you answer was.”

“I’m so glad you called,” she replied,”I remember someone asking me to marry them, but I forgot who it was.”
 

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

3 Pair of Glasses

A young girl was puzzled why the aging college professor needed three pair of glasses.
He explained, “I need one pair for distance, one pair to read, and one pair to find the other two pair.”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

More

Novelty Shirts, Hats, Etc.

Design your own photo gifts, your photo or mine, open your own store!

A Woman named Rose

A couple had become forgetful in their old age and sought  a remedy by attending a special memory class where they were taught to remember things by word association. The husband was telling his neighbor how helpful the classes had been.

“Who was the instructor?” asked the neighbor.
“Oh,um,what was that name now?” said the husband. “What’s that flower that smells nice and has thorns?”
“A Rose?”
“That’s it,” said the husband triumphantly. He turned towards the house and called,”Hey Rose, what’s the name of the guy in charge of the memory class?”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Gary’s Travel Website

Growing Old

Three elderly women were discussing the problems of growing old. One said”Sometimes I find myself in front of the refrigerator with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand and I can’t remember if I am putting it away or making myself a sandwich.”
Another said,” And I can trip on the stairs and not remember if I was walking up or down.”
“Oh, well, I don’;t have  those sort of problems , touch wood, said the third. tapping her knuckles on the table, before adding,”That must be the door , I’ll get it.“

Gary is a travel writer and photographer living in Sarasota Florida.

Elderly Couple

After stopping off for lunch on a day trip, an elderly couple had driven ten miles down the road when the woman remembered that  she had left her glasses at the restaurant.

Her husband was irritated at having to go back for them. “How could you forget your glasses?” He asked. “This is going to add an hour to the journey,the whole day is wasted.”

He was still complaining when they pulled up again outside the restaurant. As his wife got out of the car he grumbled,” While you are in there you may as well get my hat too.”

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated