What’s in Your Mail

 

One day God was looking down to earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out.

So he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.

Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel. To get both points of view. So God called a male angel and sent him to earth for a time. When the male angel returned he went to God and told him yes the earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.

God said this was not good. He would send a letter to the 5% that were good and encourage them, a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that letter said?

Oh, you didn’t get one either?!!!

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Check it out for more humor.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Dumb Criminals

 

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
*
A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
*
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
*
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn’t  realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
*
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
*
The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he  couldn’t have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.
*
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a “bulge” in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge
could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
*
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.
*
Oklahoma City – Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer.
Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your [expletive] head off.” The defendant paused,
then quickly added, “– if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.
*
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver’s license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
*
Police in Chicago sent Cubs tickets to people with outstanding arrest warrants. When they arrived at the game, they were promptly arrested.

The life and times of a Parcel Redistribution Specialist. 

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Oklahoma is way Ahead of the Times

The Golden Age Of  Wireless

Recently the New Orleans Times Picayune newspaper reported that a Cajun amateur archaeologist, having dug to a depth of 10 meters, found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Cajuns, in the weeks that followed Texas scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters. Shortly after, headlines in the Dallas Morning News read: “Texas archaeologists have found traces of 200-year old copper wire, and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than the Cajuns.”

One week later, the Daily Oklahoman reported: “After digging as deep as 30 meters in wheat fields near Watonga, Bubba Williams, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Okies were already using wireless.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

Keep your beer cold 10 oz insulated SIGG thermos water bottle by lifejourneysimages
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They're On The Launch Pad

They’re On The Launch Pad — Start Counting Down
The following newspaper article appeared in Florida Today on November 20, 1996, when I still worked at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory:

Activists Vow to Stop 1997 Cassini Launch
By Todd Halvorson

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. – Anti-nuclear activists pledged Tuesday to wade across alligator-infested swamps and parachute onto a launch pad to stop the planned launch next year of a NASA plutonium-powered spacecraft….

– – –

Very shortly thereafter, the following “advertisement” circulated throughout NASA’s e-mail system:

WANTED TO BUY: 10,000 alligators. No reasonable offer refused. Transportation costs negotiable.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

Things to Ponder

Things to
Ponder

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard
shift?
*
How do a fool and his money GET together?
*
How do you know when it’s time to tune your
bagpipes?
*
How is it that a building burns up as it burns
down?
*
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a
thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
*
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
*
In a country of free speech, why are there phone
bills?
*
How come there aren’t B batteries?
*
How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?
*
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
*
How is it possible to have a civil war?
*
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience
sitting?
*
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
*
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting
wet?
*
How can there be self-help “groups”?
*
How do you know honesty is the best policy until you have tried
some of the others?
*
How does a Thermos know if the drink should be hot or
cold?
*
What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?
*
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
*
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
*
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about?

You can now receive funnies on your Kindle.

Clever Quotes

Clever Quotes
#1

“Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of
Three Ain’t Bad.”
*
“Real Men Don’t Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair.”
*
“I Used Up All My Sick Days… So I Called In
Dead.”
*
“Husband and Cat Lost… Reward for Cat.”
*
“Be Nice to Your Children… They’ll Pick Your Nursing
Home.”
*
“Husbands Should Come With Instructions.”
*
“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This
Time.”
*
“I Want It All and I Want It Delivered… Now ! “
*
“Life Is Hard; Then Your Not Here.”
*
“Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the
Same.”
*
“Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk
Carton.”
*
“Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt.”
*
“Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes… Use Birth
Control.”
*
“60-Year-Old, One Owner, Needs Parts… Make
Offer.”
*
“If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them
on
My Knees.”
*
“If You Can Read This…Kiss A Teecher.”
*
“A Nest Isn’t Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the
Attic.”
*
“That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!”
*
“Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
Up.”
*
“My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink.”
*
“I Yell Because I Care.”
*
“If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really
There.”
*
“Procrastinate Now.”
*
“Rehab Is for Quitters.”
*
“Re-Elect Nobody.”
*
(Across a drawing of a skeleton) “Waiting for the Perfect
Man.”
*
“My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse…
…. He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse.”
*
“My Dog Can Lick Anyone.”
*
“Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large
Groups.”
*
(On a baby-size shirt) “Party – My Crib – Two
A.M.”

Jokes posted regularly, follow me on Kindle.

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perception

An Emergency Situation

A man walks into a store followed by his 10-year-old son. The kid
is flipping a quarter into the air and catching it in his mouth. As
they continue on someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and
the coin goes into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately
starts choking, and the father starts to panic.

A well-dressed middle-aged and very-serious woman in a business suit is sitting at the coffee bar in the market reading her Wall Street Journal
and sipping on her latte. At the sound of the commotion she looks up,
puts her coffee down, carefully folds her newspaper and puts her purse
on it. Then she gets up from her seat and strolls toward the boy, who is
now turning blue.

When she arrives, the woman takes hold of the boy’s testicles and
squeezes gently at first, but then gets evermore firm. After a few
seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the
woman deftly catches from the air. She then releases the boy, hands the
quarter to the father, and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar
without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son is OK, the father rushes over to
the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do
anything like that before! It was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“Certainly not,” the woman replies. “I’m a divorce attorney.”

Florial Business and the Friars

The Friars of the Floral Business

Some Friars were behind on their belfry payments

, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the Friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the Friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the Friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close shop.

Terrified, the Friars did so – thereby proving that . . .

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist Friars.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

 

 

The Armless Bell Ringer

The Armless Bellringers

I thought this was hilarious!

 

There was a monastery in France at the edge of a cliff overlooking a beautiful valley, and
because its bells could be heard over such a wide area, it developed a
reputation for attracting only the finest bellringers in the country.

There was always a bit of dread when a bellringer passed on or retired, and
one year, when they spread the word of their need for a new master,
there was a dearth of qualified candidates. They would have been good
enough for any other monastery, but not this one. Better to have silent
bells than anything less than the best.

As they were despairing at the quality of candidates, a man with no
arms paid a visit to apply for the position. The monks were amazed and
protested that this was no time for joking. But the man insisted, said
he was from a family of famous bellringers, and he would show them what
he could do. He drew back, lowered his head, and charged full speed at
the bell. The monks was horrified, but could not stop him. And the
sound — oh my, you should have been there! It was indeed a sound
worthy of that monastery. It rang thruout the valley, and people
everywhere stopped in their tracks and nodded to each other that at
last a worthy bellringer had been found.

But alas, it was not to be. For the impact so stunned the poor
armless man that he stumbled dizzily and fell over the cliff. The head
monk ran down the steps to where a crowd had gathered, and a policeman
spoke to him. “Do you know this man?” The monk sighed, “No, but his
face rings a bell.”

The search continued. One day not long after, another armless man
showed up and presented himself as the previous man’s brother. He was
there to uphold the family honor, and would show them what a good
bellringer could do. The monks protested, but too late — he also drew
back and charged full speed into the bell. And once again, the most
beautiful sound pealed out over the valley, such that even the birds
circled around to see what was happening. And once again, he was so
stunned that he too fell over the cliff in a daze.

Once again the head monk scrambled down the stairs to meet the crowd
and a policeman. Again he was asked if he knew the deceased. “No, but
he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”

 

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Owning a dog pull over sweatshirt by lifejourneysimages
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A 90 Year Old Man

A 90 year old man was sitting on a park bench sobbing. A young man asked him what was wrong.
“I’m in love with a 20 year old girl,”wailed the old man. “She ‘s gorgeous,looking,kind, considerate, and she’s a great cook, and we have the most fantastic sex three times a day, every day..”
“So why are you crying?”
“I’ve forgotten where we live.”

Sports and outdoors

Arizona Ice Tea

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

A perfect description of middle age baby creeper by lifejourneysimages
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