The Technically Challenged

The Technologically Challenged

1. Compaq is considering changing the command
“Press Any Key” to Press
Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key
is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes.
A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
back in
the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on and
was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close
the door to his room.

5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer
to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor screen and hitting the “send” key.

6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.

7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because
his computer had told him he was “bad and an invalid.” The tech explained
that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be
taken
personally.

8. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
He told
the technician that the computer had said it “couldn’t find printer.” The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but
that
his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.

9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get
her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. “
The “foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s
mouse.

10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, “What power
switch?”

11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang
for
support. “I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the
second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in
the third disk, I couldn’t even fit it in…” The user hadn’t realized
that
“Insert Disk 2” meant to remove Disk 1 first.

12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions
for
installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its
cover
and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of
the
disk and wondered why there were problems.

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